literature

Attention Seeker

Deviation Actions

Raiyenn's avatar
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Published:
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Literature Text

I hear it and cringe
The sting of the words on my ears
as they fling they're cold words at her
"Stop trying to get attention"
"Stupid girl. Always looking for attention"
"Pathetic. Worthless. Attention seeker"
Aimed at another
but caught in the crossfire.

A note in a song
Cheery but so sad in truth
a deceptively happy tune, hiding reality
They look at me.
"Oh my god, you don't cut do you?"
A look of utter disgust, hatred.
"Of course not"
I mutter, a truth so dark.

They wouldn't understand
Besides, I'm not like all of them.
I'm not going to do something that dumb.
"I'm not an attention seeker"
"Good, it would be pathetic if you were"
"Yeah, only an idiot would..."
Speaking pure truth
But feeling like such a liar.

Days go by and now I'm there
Knife in hand, ready to cut, but i don't
I put it down, tears falling in inner agony
"No. I won't. I'm not an attention seeker"
"an attention seeker"
"A pathetic, worthless, attention seeker"
Everybody knows that girl
so many fools say "They're just doing it for attention"
all they want is attention, right?
Wrong.
Not everyone does. few do.
Most? It's true, genuine, sadness.
Don't judge and assume you know whats going on. If you don't fully understand the situation, then don't pretend you do. I myself... I never cut myself. Why? The marks would show. I didn't want anyone to know... I wanted to be alone with myself, and my pain. No one else should have to know about a truth so dark.... So, I didn't. I lived with my sorrow, and didn't cut...
I barely let anyone know about my pain.
My depression... My depression. Not anyone elses. I wasn't an attention seeker
I would never be one of those girls...
I was trapped. I always had violent tendencies.. did i act on them?
No.
so much anger had built up.
If i even punched my pillow or my bed,
I would be grounded....
I obviously couldn't hurt anyone else...
and i couldn't hurt myself.
It hurt
and it built up, and i couldn't take it anymore.
I actually tried to drown myself in my bathtub once,
that way, at least i wont be around to hear those awful words
I wont be able to be called "attention seeker"

I thought. Thankfully I failed....
but really. would it have been better for me to hurt myself....
or to die because I was too scared to live
too scared to be called an "attention seeker"
I'm more stable now...but not everyone is. so for goodness sakes, think before you spout words like that.
think before you call someone an attention seeker
© 2013 - 2024 Raiyenn
Comments5
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care623's avatar
*hugs* I hate when people do that